0:01:00
Welcome to Nourish the Risk Takers podcast we are joined today by Veronica Yanhs. Veronica, thank you for being here. Why don’t you give us a little hello and an introduction of what you do in the world? Yeah. So just as an as an aside, this was one of the interviews and conversations that I was a little bit nervous for because as we’re talking about asking for help, or just stripping away, like, who we are as, like, what we do. I’m, like, oh my gosh. I’m actually having a conversation about my self share business comes into play, but I’m just, like, I think this is why I need this podcast because asking for help or nourishing the things that I need feels really selfish sometimes feels like I’m like, like, guilt just seems to be the word that comes up. But anyway, so I’m Veronica Yanhs. I’m the founder and CEO of Business Laid Bare.

0:01:49
And so we work with a lot of impact driven organizations and businesses to help them create that uncapped revenue growth so that they can take the money and do good with it in the world because building a legacy requires sustainable actions and operations, and you’re not just gonna one night stand something to create a legacy. So this is what we’re all about. We’re all about operations. And I can’t think of anything better to do in this world because, like, this is where our gifts are. But at the same time, I know that and I talk about this with you quite a bit, Marissa. It’s like when you give, give, give, it’s like, oh my gosh. How do you ask for help or how do I ask for help and receive that nourishment in order to continue to show up to make the impact because as people have said you can’t pour, from an empty cup. So that’s Yeah. Let me even try it. But all you’re gonna get is a little bit of air and maybe some dust and some cat hair and dog hair.

0:02:46
So you know, just to be completely transparent, Veronica is one of my longest, oldest clients. I don’t not old in her age, but, like, old tiny. We’ve been kind of doing this for a while. And I always find it interesting because Veronica pays me to help her.

0:03:04
Not that I wouldn’t love to do it, you know, outside of that kind of relationship, but honestly, I often will say to Veronica. Like, Veronica, I’m sorry. I’m I’m asking this. I’m like, you pay me for this. I know, but we also are, like, friends as well. Right? So it’s, like, reciprocity to me as I’ve noticed is so important, like, yes, I pay you. And but at the same time, it’s like, I care about you as person and I just taking advantage of people as someone that has been taken advantage of multiple times in my life It’s like I’m very cognizant about things like that asking for permission even though I pay you.

0:03:42
I think as a as a service provider, we are acutely aware of the times where people have tried to scope creep on us. It is it is definitely something that I try to keep track of because I am a notorious, like, yes person. I would I love making people’s day. And any way I can do that, I’m all in, but at my expense. And like you said, you can’t pour from empty cup. And eventually, you do run out of energy. Even me, people have asked, like, how do you do it all? Well, eventually, I do crash.

0:04:13
I I slept seven hours on a a like a long road trip yesterday. I was just, like, Here’s some music. Here’s an audiobook. Good luck. I am sleeping. You know? And, oh, it’s a I have but I I’m in a I’m in a public room in my my you know you know that noise. You know that noise. The — The noise. — the — Yeah. — the — Yeah. — the pandemic clock. The pandemic providing me to get water, take a stretch, take a break. I mean, we all know that as catalyst members, we hear it all the time. But that’s a way of I put that in there because I know that we’re not receiving support, and it’s like a reminder when you hear that, oh, I gotta take a drink. I’ve gotta take a stretch. That’s all part of receiving support too.

0:04:57
But back to this, like, as a service provider, what are some things that you do? I know you are you go above and beyond where you don’t wanna take advantage of people, but what are some things that you do in your business to make sure that scope creep doesn’t happen. Yeah. So to me, operations is very much about setting good boundaries, creating good company culture, and making sure that quality of life is insured from all the people that interact with us, rather they are clients or team members or even potential potential stakeholders. However, that may look. Because when you have good operations, it means that there are set expectations that allow us to stay protected.

0:05:38
So, like, lack of operations and lack of good process means that clients can walk all over us. And while that is not something that we intentionally look for, sometimes it happens because we maybe didn’t foresee a scenario that happened. Like, I had a client who got so mad at her team members, and she told this to us. She’s like, I felt so betrayed by our clients because they went directly through me, emailed the team member and asked if they could do something. And I don’t think the client knew that they were scope creeping and the team member was like, yeah, you know, I will do it unbeknown to her that this was apparently scope creep in that there was some betrayal feelings. But I’m just like, see, that was, like, lack of good operations and lack of processes. Whereas, I have and told my team members, like, for clients asked us to do something that was out of scope, it’s like check-in with yourself. Does it feel right? And if it does, like, take care of them and then let them know that Usually, we don’t do this, but we wanted you to do we wanted to do this for you to help you move forward. So for me, creating good operations means creating good boundaries. It’s like, it’s not about what I will do or what you will do. It’s almost like I will this is what I will do in response to your actions or set up that pre like, proactive productivity before the thing happens. So for me, like, I feel like operations is just a really good or size and battery setting. Yeah. I love that.

0:07:06
I think we haven’t you know, as business owners, especially when you’re in like that kind of startup phase, those first three to five years, which I know a lot of people were like, wait, start up phase three to five years. Well, yeah, some start ups go for ten plus years. We were talking about the how long beta some of these some of these well known companies are still in their beta. They’re still working on their stuff, you know, eight years later. How long was Google in beta? Gmail? How long was Gmail in beta? Like, way too long. Right? I worked for a fifteen year old startup. Fifty year olds tested for them once. Like, that was one of my first jobs out of college. And it was a ride. It was a ride. Sure.

0:07:45
And so when we think about these lifetimes of businesses, if we don’t have we’re just we’re starting kind of that people pleasing phase because they’re trying to get as many customers in so that you have proof of concept, so that you have, you know, a a database of users, especially if you’re gonna plan to go get funding. So there’s this kind of rush to do all the things without actually being strategic or having a game plan or having your standard operating procedures. You’ll hear us reference the sops, the SOPs, depending on how some people like to refer to, I hate the sops, but the SOPs, it stands for standard. Standard operating procedures. And there are things that I always like to encourage people to have when they’re still a team of one, a leader of one. You start doing the processes that you have. And like Veronica said, that’s your best line of defense when it comes to scope creep is because you’ve got these policies set out. So you can refer to people, here’s what is included here’s what is extra.

0:08:38
For me, as I’ve been doing business, like you and I have been around for so long, but I didn’t really truly take my business seriously. Or basically, like, go all in on myself. Like, I played to not lose up until, like, twenty twenty. And then so when twenty twenty hit, something just clicked. And I was like, you know what, I’m gonna play the win. In order to play the win though, I also know that I’m gonna be a lot more vulnerable. So what does it that I need to put in place to make sure that I am taken care of. And especially now in this phase of my business where now that COVID feels a lot less scary and I’ve been boosted more times than I can remember.

0:09:14
It’s like, okay, going into the in person events, like that changes the dynamic of what business is like because I’ve just known it to be in the online world. And you and I were chatting offline about this. But in our own online messenger, that sometimes being too global because you think more more expansiveness, more opportunities for clients. But then at the same time, it’s like, well, what if we go an inch wide mile deep? Like go local and see how much we can exhaust that experience.

0:09:44
And for me, nourishing myself also means that I am like, I am honing in on my strengths rather than, like, bringing up my weaknesses because that to me is nourishing. And coming from an Asian and Chinese background, it’s like they were always forcing you to, like, look at what your weaknesses are and to, like, make them better. And I’m just, like, well, what about enhancing your strengths and taking what you’re already good at and making it even more amazing because if it’s your strength, it feels like it’s like a nature to you. So for me, I’m just like, okay. How do I just, like, take care of myself and lean on my strengths and do things that feel good instead of all the shoulds. So that is a way that I’ve learned to take care of myself without really even knowing it, but now that I’m more aware of it, it’s like, oh, yeah. Because if I was to do if I was to do things that didn’t feel right, I would be so stressed out, I would be so stretched thin, and it just would not flow and feel natural. Yeah. I just pushed us.

0:10:50
I do see that. I always like to have because, like, there’s there’s a little pop up here, and it looks weird if it’s in front my face, and it’s really on front of your face. I know. This is, like, taking care of ourselves midstream people. Like, what’s happening? It’s magic. That’s the magic of of online team listen to my voice, not what I’m doing with my hand. It listen to Veronica’s voice, and not what I’m doing on here. Yeah. I mean, this is this is something I mean, that the the global versus local. That that’s all part of taking yourself too taking care of yourself because sometimes we’re trying to cast our net weight to I said that. Right? I said, yeah. We’re casting it too wide, and we’re not getting the amount of people that we need into our net has were too the nets too wide, whereas if you had cast, you know, pretty close to you, you’re gonna get a sub segment of people that you can really get feedback on a startup basis and really invest in yourself. So I love that you kinda made that that realization. You’ve been really going in on that.

0:11:46
Now, do you take care of yourselves at events? We’ve talked about this. So, okay, how do you do an introvert or an extrovert? So I I’m an introvert. People seem to be very shocked when I tell them that, and they’re like, no, you’re so well spoken and eloquent. I’m like, that does not define what introversion extroversion is. But that’s a you should’ve go read you should’ve go read the book quiet if you would like to know more.

0:12:12
But essentially for me, and I’ll plug strains finders. I didn’t think they’re called gallop strains now. And the reason why I’m plugging them is because they have this strength called WU, which is winning others over. If you are someone that leads or has WU in your top five or ten, it means that you’re the type of person that wants to, like, make it rain with your business card, meet everybody, say hi to everybody, befriend everybody. But for me, my number one strength is for later, which means that I win others over through deeply connecting with one or few people. Like, I have the uncanny ability apparently to make really deep and meaningful relationships rather quickly. And I thought that this was just part of being a nice human being. But, you know, not everybody has the strains that we all do, which is why I’m like for me, I win others over by but intimate conversation.

0:13:05
So then I how I take care of myself is instead of going to a networking event or an event, and doing that, like, make it rain with your my business card, I told myself if I make, like, one to two really good connections, even if it’s with somebody I already know because I’ve had friends come with me to events and they’re like, I know it’s half the people in this room already. I’m like leaving. I’m like, oh my god. If I see half the people in the room, I get super excited because that means I’m not awkwardly going, hey, can I join your your conversation circle? And so that’s how I take care of myself. It’s like, said intentions, like, this is my litmus for what success feels like because I often move my own targets.

0:13:45
So that I don’t celebrate enough or if I do hit a milestone, I’m just like, but as you’ve told me many times, you’re like, Veronica, you’re not celebrating the small things on the day to day. How are you going to celebrate the big things when they truly come? Because you’ve diminished your own success or whatever that looks like. So to celebrate small and big celebrations to mean, it to celebrate it all equally. Like, just be like, oh, wow. This happened. I’m I got, you know, I’m I I celebrate when I get, you you know, like, my mountain dew spark, you know, that I can’t get. I’m, like, we I’ve liberated it from the US. Like, the all of those things deserve celebrations equally. We don’t need to, like, say this is a small celebration or a large celebration. You’re right.

0:14:32
But on that note, so we’re gonna come to the Canadian US border. I’m gonna toss you, like, potato sacks, Yeah. Then I’ve got chips for Lakshmia. Yeah. I’m gonna throw them so that you can ship them faster and quicker. Well, I want them too. Oh, yes. Yes. Well, it’s gonna be I’m gonna have to, like, put a small palette of snacks. They’re crossing the border. Nothing to see here here customs. Nothing to see here. Absolutely. Back in front of me. You know okay.

0:14:56
So first of all, I’m interested in this person who is showing up to a room and seeing that they already know half people and they’re and they’re leaving. Like, to me, I’m like, what an opportunity to reconnect to let those people know what I’m doing? They already know the I don’t have to start from zero and say, like, here’s what I’m doing. Now you go into that conversation where it’s like, who do you know that needs what I have? Because you already know me, you know what I do. Like, what an opportunity miss? That’s really interesting. That person is just gathering and and is not necessarily building relationships, which I think is a different strategy, and I I find that exhausting, always continually adding into the funnel without doing the nurturing of who’s in the funnel already. It’s it’s unbelievable.

0:15:38
Like, when I see somebody that I already know we’re half the room, it makes me excited because it allows me, like you said, to talk about something else or to share something without always having to reinvent the wheel and start from scratch. And the few people that I’ve met locally, so it was interesting when I went into the local business community, someone gave me the advice to, like, Veronica, you don’t you don’t need to be doing what you wanted to talk to me about. She’s like, you need to go meet people that are the executive director positions, the the super connectors, all that stuff. And I’m just like, okay. And this is almost like letting go. So maybe this is a way of nourishing myself to is to let go of thinking that I’m under control, because that’s what makes me feel good, that I have things under control.

0:16:25
But, like, when serendipity happens, like, meeting one person who ended up being the executive director of a pretty big organization here in town, led to them introducing or they introduced me to another person who introduced me to another person. Now, like, these handful of five people that I initially met know, like, almost everybody because the local community is both big and small at the same time. So it’s just like, to me, quality over quantity, except for when it comes to food, has always been my thing and if I deviate from that, my life isn’t feel right if that makes sense. Like, it means that I’m just not operating how I meant operate, and that’s not taking care of myself. I’m doing a lot of shoulds. Yeah. We fill our life with shoulds. The we should all over ourselves as we say in the catalyst. Don’t put it all over yourself. Don’t put it overall all over other people. You know? Yeah. And that’s interesting.

0:17:21
You’re so you’re a very nurturing person. You’re I find you very naturally caring and you definitely look out for other people. You you check-in with other people. To a point, again, I think it’s interesting you said you like to be in control of it. So you like to control how you care for people. Maybe not in that sense and you can always check me in this and challenge me. But, like, when I say control, if I feel like I’m out of control, one, maybe it’s actually a good thing because it means that I’m letting magic happen into my life. And perhaps this desire for so much control is because I didn’t have it growing up. There were so many things that were done for me or that I was forced to do or forced to do in other people’s ways that when I feel like I don’t have control, it means that perhaps I’m slipping back into that old behavior and that there’s baggage coming up. So I am totally willing to admit this.

0:18:22
But when I have controllers show up and with intention about how I care for people, really the best thing that I always ask for. Like, when I meet people, I’m always like, okay, what are your love languages? What are your core values? Because these things help me decide how to help nourish somebody else. So, like, if words of affirmation are not your thing and I sing you praise his left and right, it’s probably, like, it doesn’t mean anything. Or you’re just like, oh, okay. But if you really are a type of person that loves hugs and just giving you one amazing hug, means the world compared to, like, ten compliments, then I have done my job, and I have observed actually giving you what you truly need rather than what I believe you need. And so that’s why it’s like asking for help or giving giving help to me sometimes can’t just be like this blanket thing where you assume everybody is the same. So that’s what I mean when I try to be in control of, like, how I take care of people. It’s actually asking them what they need first. Even though I have more hugs. I’m just Okay. Alright. So we’re we’re we’re we’re meeting up. That’s it? We’re meeting up. I’m bringing my dog. I’m bringing my drinks. Snacks were meaning up. Yeah. Yeah. Just hug it out all day long and you can sing me praises. It’s great.

0:19:36
So you do have to ask for help, Veronica. What’s it like? What does it feel like? It’s so hard. It’s so easy to give help to people. Like, I’m the first one. Like, I have learned from my partner’s manager when they were speaking. I’m like, I have biased for action. Like, it’s really hard for me to hold space for some people. I do immediately go into solutions mode. So for me, when I like, how is it that I am so easy? Like, it’s so easy for me to give help to other people right away without thinking about it.

0:20:03
But when I have to when I need help or wanna ask for help, it’s a it’s a uphill battle. It’s so much harder. But I have learned that it is probably a lot of baggage that I need to shed from my upbringing. And so to answer your question, like asking for help sometimes just looks like, hey, I think I need help. And I have to put that thing there at first depending on how much I know that person because, like, it protects me. It’s like a protection mechanism. But I think I’ve learned that what I appreciate when people are just straightforward me is that I’m beginning to just become straightforward with others and that hopefully I’ve cultivated this company that I’m around whether it be family, chosen or non chosen business friends, non business friends. It’s like, I trust them to know that when I’m asking for help, it’s not that I have any old interior motives or that they might, like, take advantage of me. I know. It’s let me just air out all my issues on my pod.

0:21:03
Ask I love this I love this ulterior motives to asking for help, but I Oh. Talk to all gotten assigned as a service for this episode. Yeah. I I I really love that, actually. So but let’s you have an incredible team. So have you empowered them to basically tell you when they’re gonna help you with this business. So we have so many different ways in which we’ve baked help into our team culture. So I don’t know how I got so lucky, but, you know, if you’re lucky, like, multiple times in a row, like, at some time, it must be intense Right? At some point, it must be that this actually is not luck. So Yeah. Well, one of your team members is because That’s true. Yeah. Like, where would I be without Marissa in my life? I don’t wanna think about that. I’m just gonna brag right now. Yes. The Yeah. But I love I love that YouTube connected in the sphere. Like, it’s such a great such a great opportunity. You guys have have really blossomed into each other.

0:22:04
So how I started with with Terry and Makayla is that I had them both take the strengths finder assessment because I was curious as to know what drove them. And then I also just point blank asked, like, hey, what are your strengths? Where do you feel like you need help? And over time, we and we also have a Slack channel that says, it’s called Work Here Strains. So basically, it’s a reminder and we put things down like, oh, well, Terry is open about me sharing this. She’s like, I don’t know how to build something from nothing. But once you’ve taught me how to build it the first time, I can build it and make it even better the next time. And Mikaela, she’s like, I’m like the Energizer bunny. Checking off things off my task list is like, I get high. I get a high from it. I’m like, oh, okay. So more so tasks for you, like, oh, just break down one task into, like, three subtasks, and it makes you happy.

0:22:58
So, like, when we normalize asking for help and without getting shamed for it. It’s like, we know how to chip in when a team member may be, like, lagging or we’re having to all work out of our zones of genius now and then, like, it’s it’s a reality. It’s like we try to work in our zones of genius as much possible, but given that we’re such a small team at this point, it’s inevitable. And then on the more technical side, we have a help wanted tag and click up that I’ve set up a standard operating procedure for. I’m like, hey, if I have like a help wanted tag because either I don’t have time to do it, I don’t want to do it or I can’t do it, but it somehow is assigned to me or I’m doing the ask a signing, and this is for anybody. Tag it with help wanted. Tag it with, like, today or put today’s date as the start date. And if you have an idea of who the person is best to complete this with, should complete it, assign it to them. If not, leave it blank. And then that when things get tagged, it shoots a notification to Slack under our help wanted channel so that we have a list of where we need help.

0:24:07
Like, I somehow have cultivated this culture where Terry, Mikael and I, all three of us feel really comfortable being really honest with each other. Like, some days, like, Terry’s like, I’m just super sad or, you know, she works with a lot of horses. She has a horse. She’s like, my horse is not doing well and that’s really affecting me. I’m like, great. Nothing is on fire take the day off. If you wanna come back later today, just let us know. If not, you can things can wait till the next day.

0:24:33
It’s not like we’re saving the world here. I mean, you are saving the world. But in terms of, like, emergency surgery — Right. — not spreading lives. Right. But absolutely. Yeah. And I think this is an interesting shift in asking for and receiving help even, you know, in small businesses that are modeling this for larger corporations. Is we is is letting people deal with their stuff outside their business is actually better productivity. For you. Like, having people work through stuff I mean, same thing with the catalyst. You know, we have people who are like, oh, I I I wanted to do this thing today. I wanted to do a co working session. I just I don’t have the energy or I just don’t go. Go. Yeah. Please go to your curve yourself.

0:25:17
Terry was supposed to get on a call with the client, and ten minutes before the call happened. She’s like, my Internet just got shut off. The the Internet company is working on some thing. And she’s, like, freaking out. She’s, like, and I have no cell signal because in the Midwest where she’s living right now, there’s past like, she had a tornado warning the other day. And so I’m, like, and they just send a message to the client and say, I’m so sorry, can you rebook? Here’s the link. And if they are going to give you hell over it. It meant that we didn’t vet the right client in the first place. And that’s on Right. That’s never on Terry. But that client was like, no big deal. Life happens.

0:25:54
Like, The fact that we give our clients so much grace, it’s almost like they give us that same grace back because we’re cultivating this culture And I think that’s what’s so great about business laid bare. It’s like we’re laying it all bare. There’s nothing really up our sleeves. Like, if we don’t feel good, we talk about it. If the clients are like, can I nurse my my baby? And I’ll call them like, yeah. Of course. Like, what better time to nurse your kid? And please don’t feel like you have to cover up. It’s like, You’re just gonna be talking. Oops happen.

0:26:22
Again, you can go off camera if we need to, like, record things. It’s the twenty first century. We can make it work. So how do you need to be taken care of and nourished? I think even things like having your client on the other side feeding that kid. Like, that’s risk that’s a risk taking activity, right, because there’s so much stigma. And I’m just like, no. Like, we’re here. We see you as a person. We love seeing your baby. That could smell your baby head from afar I would, but I can’t. So we’ll just we’ll make it work the next time. Yeah.

0:26:53
I mean, I’ve had coaching clients who are like, do you mind if I have to I’m like, I don’t mind at all. Do we need you if you wanna go off camera? If you wanna stay on camera? It doesn’t matter to me. I’m like, this is and, you know, it’s it’s what or if you need to take ten minutes, Like, it’s up to you. Right? Because I also don’t think people should power through this stuff. Like, if if feeding your baby, you need to, like, do that and you can’t focus on whatever is happening here, let’s not force it. Let’s not just because you had it scheduled, like, sometimes bidders are hungry. And you’ve got to do that. And and were they or they’re crying? Or, you know, something’s happened. They fell. You can’t plan for all of that stuff. And I think we need we just start creating businesses that allow people to do all the things that they want to do and not feel stressed or having to give up things. So I love that you’re creating that that culture with your team. I love that during this conversation.

0:27:43
I was, like, thinking about, as you were saying, like, inherently, having good operations is nourishing folks. And I really love that because when you know how the business operates, you know how to play within that or you know where the guardrails are and things are just not spinning out of control or feeling chaotic and I mean, our lives are already chaotic as it is. So it’s like how can how can we how can I create this environment where Mikaela did call us out the other day? She’s like, BLB is, like, my safe space. Like, she’s, like, I know the structure. I know what to do. Sometimes things get a little crazy.

0:28:20
And Veronica has a shit ton of projects. She wants us all to do, but it’s, like, I love that they trust that when I assign them something or give them something to do or want us to go down this route is that I know that they can handle it and not because it just needs to be done. Like, I would never assign someone to something to someone if they can’t take, like, know how to do it. But I’m like, if it’s like like, an app training and you just have to learn the app that’s different. But, like, inherently, if I’m asking you to write copy and you’ve never written copy in your life, like, I wouldn’t have I’m not taking care of you. I’m doing nobody any good, and I’m harming you. Yeah.

0:28:58
And that’s a that’s a focus that you definitely have. With business like bears that it’s people first. Right? Like, you’re focusing on those procedures and those tools and tactics that you’re designing. If it doesn’t work for your team, whether it’s a team you have now or your future team, then there’s no sense putting it in. That’s a costly mistake that you’re gonna be impacting in your business. But I mean, it’s also harm that you’re doing to your team. It’s not just affecting your profit. It’s actually it’s creating trauma and harm. And we talk about corporate trauma a lot in the cows because we’ve all experienced it. But it’s like, we wanna try and reduce the amount harm that we’re doing in the world, and that’s that’s one way of doing it.

0:29:34
So let’s come back to this ulterior motives for asking for help. Okay. So it’s so funny because when someone asks me for help, I don’t think twice. I’m like, tit’s deep in. I just dive in. But then when I ask for help, it’s like before I even ask. Sometimes I’m just like, okay, will this person think any less of me or think that I’m being lazy? I think that’s, like, the biggest thing is the laziness part because I I’m supposed to be able to do all the stuff of myself. Right? So the fact that, like, when I asked for help even in the form of, like, ordering out. I’m just, like, oh, well, should I have done this, but that at the same time, I always have this, like, gauge in my head where it’s like, okay, if I’m operating today at like forty percent, is it worth lowering that gauge ten percent even more for a meal? Or is it worth like, okay, ordering takeout or asking somebody to do something for me? Well, allow me to do the things to, like, raise my gauge up.

0:30:38
So the ulterior motive, it’s all me. Like, it’s it’s a me thing. I say, like, Terry McKayla and I are always like, is it a me thing or a business laid bare thing? Or is it really a client thing? And nine tens of the ten, it’s a it’s an us thing. So it’s like we check ourselves and we’re just like, hey. It’s a meeting, a weaving, or a them thing. No. Like sometimes we’re like, we’re not even giving enough value. Are we? Or we’re and so we’re like, wait a minute. It’s a it’s a we thing. And so, like, we we talk about these things in the culture of the business because it’s important to talk about it.

0:31:07
And so going back to me, it’s like, I really need to make it an active practice to just let go of any strings attached that I think I may have attached myself to and be like, I just need help and have to trust that I’ve cultivated the relationships and the company around me, friends, family, colleagues, whatever, that have my best interest at heart. And I’m proving myself right every day. So it’s a active practice that I’m going through. Right now. Like, I am not perfect whatsoever and nor do I try to portray that I have, like, my life together. My life is held together because of good processes and Google calendars right now. Yeah. I I I don’t even have that, to be honest. I have a a a thinly taped calendar, maybe. I probably should have the duct tape, but I’m really just working on some dollar store scotch tape happening here, holding everything together. And I’ll be the first in at that, but we’re getting there. It’s it’s definitely I think when you look at from a team process, you it gives you an advantage because You also have different perspectives and lived experiences pouring into that solution. So having the more people that you can get involved in creating that solution for a team. It’s gonna be better. It’s gonna be better.

0:32:28
I think when I asked for help, like, a lot of times, for me, I know what help I need. And it’s the help that I don’t know that I need that is really scary. Oh, interesting. Like for instance, so let’s talk about it on this podcast. You are one of the first people that were, like, hey, Veronica, I think you could be autistic.

0:32:54
And when I heard that news, I’m just like, like, not that I was mind blown or anything crazy because I was just like, I just never attributed that to myself because the type of autistic people I grew up around were nonverbal, have been I’ve been told many times by parents that they would never be able to live on own and stuff. So it’s like the fact that I didn’t know what I didn’t know and I got curious, the biggest thing that I got from this, like, self assessment is that I should give myself a lot more grace. It stopped beating myself up for all the things that I have beaten myself up over. And so for now, when I don’t know what I don’t know, this part’s a little bit scary, but ultimately when I asked for help. It’s like I’m I think I’m pretty specific. I need a hug. I need food. Because if I don’t have food, I’m gonna be really hangry and I’m not gonna be able do this or, like, we talked about before you pushed record a vacation after a vacation.

0:33:53
Like, That to me was such a guilt thing. Like, I’m like, I just went on like a month long vacation, vacation to Hawaii, and now I need a like a few days off from my work at Asian, but it’s just like this is just how my body works. Like, whether it’s at a conference, a kink event, a vacation, whatnot? Like, how do I take care of myself? It’s like I’m becoming a little bit unapologetic about my needs because I’d rather go foggy brained to not do anything in veg all day. Than to pretend that I have myself together and try to take meetings, which then just extends my fogginess. Yeah. I mean, I I learned this I went on vacation, and then I was saying I was just saying in the catalyst, people were like, oh, how was your vacation, like, really bad actually? And and, like, first of all, I’ve I’ve forgotten how to vacate. And to but things I’ve learned is that even when I go on vacation, I have to sleep those first three days just to sleep. Just to just to try and refill the sleep bank because I probably didn’t sleep a week before trying to get everything done that I needed to get done before I went on vacation. I feel that so much. Then I need that day after, and I didn’t do that.

0:34:58
I got up this morning at the webinar with Go Brands, and then we have this, and then I I’m actually marrying people tonight. Like, what? Like, what was I thinking? I should have booked off the entire day today. And now I know. You know, you could have messaged me. Like, we are friends enough where you could we could have rescheduled because I didn’t know I didn’t know her contact. I didn’t know until All of a sudden, I got to this point right now where I’m just like, okay, this was a bit much.

0:35:25
It was when I looked at my calendar. I didn’t think anything about it. Like, honestly, I thought I’d be fine. And I end up sleeping, like, nine like I said, seven hours, nine hours or something. I get no. Seven hours yesterday, on the way home. So look, I felt really great.

0:35:38
Then it was, like, eight o’clock. I’m, like, I need to go back to bed, and I really oh, oh, I’m in trouble for tomorrow. Right? And and it’s it’s these are things like this is asking for, but this is also receiving help. Right? So now we’ve created a standard operating procedure this morning.

0:35:54
Like, you know, I was like, when Marissa goes on vacation, the day after vacation, nothing gets scheduled. Nothing is gonna get scheduled. I need at least one day where I’m vegging out and I’m just gonna watch TV all day and maybe read and, like, extend the vacation but at home. Because you’re not trying that. You know, you’re not doing all that kind of stuff. And I said to I’m like, we’re we’re planning a big the team is taking a vacation in November because our birthdays are all in the same week. So we’re gonna we’re gonna we’re gonna close down the catalyst. I mean, like, not really. I mean, the rooms will still be open. But we’re not gonna be in there actively supporting. And I said, you know, the first thing is, I think we have to extend that out because I’m gonna probably spend the first three days sleeping.

0:36:38
And to me, you’ve created this community, which I am such a proud member of, like, you we we value the magic and the expertise that you give us when we need your help, but then when you’re not there, it’s like, we all can help each other. And I think by you creating this community, it’s not all on you. You’re not the one thing that makes or breaks the success of what you’re trying to create. So you’ve done really well in the sense. Like, I can just go in and be like, I don’t know how to word this well, or I kind of lost in my head and stuck in my head. Kinda just talking out. Like, people are there to support, and I’m like, that’s so so nice.

0:37:22
Somebody asked me this morning, how does the one to one sessions work? And I’m like, honestly, I there’d be more one to one sessions. So I didn’t make a public calendar. People have to ask me, can we do a one to one session?

0:37:33
But what we found is that the real values that people come into that main co working room and they’re like, I wanna work on this, and then everybody pours into it. So you get not only my experience, but everybody’s experience in the room. And it can impact, even bring it in a couple days in a row, you know, you get different people in the room, and and you’ve got such an incredible breadth of perspective and ideas and experiences that are being poured into this project that it is worth it. Right? And and everybody’s recognizing everybody’s expertise in there and not, you know, there’s no hierarchy there’s no oh, I gotta wait for Marissa, you know, unless they wanna be like, oh, oh, oh, I worked on this, and now I gotta I’m gonna, you know because I pick a part.

0:38:13
I’m I’m I’m the disaster planner of the of the organizations. Like, I will I will tell you all the things that could possibly go wrong so that you can plan for it to go right. But, you know, like, that there’s such an advantage there, but that’s that was also hard for me to do too because I come from the digital business world and you’re in that world too where we’re supposed to be the experts of everything. No. Because what when you’re, like, the Jack of All trades, you’re, like, master of none or something. Like, I would rather be well known Again, it goes back to my inch wide mild deep kind of personality.

0:38:49
Like, I wanna know something really really well and I am not afraid to ask for help because I’m either paying with time or money. If I’m trying to, like, build something and I have to decide, is this something that’s worth learning myself before I bring somebody on? Or you know what? Just bring them on and then ask them to create as much documentation or help videos that I need them to do so that when they do eventually leave, like, we are not stuck. With their pants pulled down. So for me, like taking care of myself, my business, my team members, ultimately has been a very active of practice.

0:39:29
As I’ve gotten older, like, I would say that if I was to talk to my twenty year old self now, she’d be like, what the hell are you talking about, we’re fine. We just figure it out. We power through. We we bite our tongue. And I’m just like, it’s not healthy, but it was also because a lot of I was raised with a lot of mistrust and I was there was a lot of people that I couldn’t trust and the only person I could trust was myself.

0:39:53
So it’s like, how do you begin to relinquish the idea of what help looks like as you progress through life. And I’m glad that I have somebody like you who continually challenges me, like, you’re just like, Veronica. Are you sure this is what you need to be doing? What do you need help with? Is this something that you need you know, like you just asked me various questions that allow me to think and expand and evolve. And I think I’ve gotten to a place where asking for help gets easier. It’s all it’s like what I was telling you. The other day. So as we’re talking to more venture capitalists and investors, oh, that is a trip. Even though we’re not raising any money at this moment from them, it’s like talking to them and winning them over to work with them or to have us work with their portfolio companies.

0:40:40
It’s like my skin was getting thicker and thicker with every meeting. But after the first few ones, I felt like very vulnerable, very exposed. And so I’m just like, okay. If I have to take really tough VC meetings that I’m like nervous for, I’m not gonna do anything else that day. I’m just gonna make sure I can recharge, get my mindset right, because if I’m continually working from a state of like anxiety, it doesn’t help anybody. So it’s like, I just have to be really, really self aware because my actions or lack thereof have ramifications and consequences that reach beyond me. So I have to take care of myself for the good of others.

0:41:19
And it’s a crazy thing to be thinking about coming from an Asian background. Yeah. And it’s interesting. We have I mean, everybody listening to this podcast, they’re gonna have a different set of experiences, different learned. Different environments, different cultures of asking for for support. I know in my family, if I asked my mom, so you figured out you always do. And it was such a like, let down because I was like, I don’t wanna do it by myself. I wanna co create with others. I wanna hear what other lot of experiences. I don’t want to. That’s where I was like, okay, I’m gonna go build my own I’m gonna go build my own communities where we can actually do collaboration, where we can do co creation. And it’s really defying everything that I grew up with. So I can only imagine you’ve got that extra layer in there of that background of going through that and kind of relearning what works for you. Yeah. Figure it out on your own, but not only that, you have to be excellent at it in in, like, two hours. In two hours. Yeah. It’s it’s not realistic. So, yeah, what was I gonna say?

0:42:22
Like, for me, when you were bringing up the story about, like, figuring it out, it’s, like, I think that’s what makes us so successful at least in what we’ve been able to do a business late there is we are I’m past the prime of coating websites for people. That’s how I got started when I first, you know, dove and decided hustle world. I think everybody had that, like, rite of passage. That I’ve known of, and I’m just like, you know what? I don’t know marketing. Like, for instance, if you’re like, I have a marketing plan that I I need to do. I’m like, well, I don’t have the strategy behind it, but once I you give me the strategy, we can operationalize the crap out of it because we know what we know really well. We need that. We are the how that makes your what? A reality whether it’s your marketing plan, your dreams, your goals, your vision, your priorities, your sprint projects. It’s like, here’s the operations that can make the how happen.

0:43:12
But your point about cocreation, that would never happen if I didn’t voice that and just pretended that we knew everything. So I think we sit in that really, really fun spot where we’re like, okay. If we know your what, the how for us is really really easy. And this is where our zone of genius is. Yeah. I mean, when we first started talking about the VCs and the investors, I was like, wow, what if here’s a whole, you know, group of people who have so many connections to the companies you wanna work with, and you had someone who was like, no, it’s not gonna work. And I it was it was challenging because it was like, why wouldn’t it work? I was like, why wouldn’t it work? And you were like, why wouldn’t it I I’m gonna just try it anyways. And I think you learned so much it wasn’t that you needed to come and this is an interesting thing when it’s, like, asking for help.

0:43:59
You weren’t there to to get the VCs or the investors say yes to working with you. If they do, that’s great. That’s like almost like a byproduct. You need them to you’re asking them for help to get connected to their people to or to the people that they meet on an everyday basis because VCs and investors, they get they get so many people pitching them that they’re not ready to to have investors. They don’t have the operations yet to even entertain investors. Right? What an opportunity for them to say, you know, you’re not ready for us yet. You need to go work with Business Aid Bear and get their their checklist, their audit done before we even look at at investing with you or even talking to you about investing. So, like, what an opportunity for you to have you know, for them to be able to develop their audience. But for them to also gatekeep their audience, like, you gotta go through business, the barrier before we even look at you. You’re asking them for help to set up those opportunities. And we’re also in talks right now with the venture firm to operationalize their organization, not their portfolios, but they have seen the value of what good operations allows them to do.

0:45:08
Like, we talk about creating so much impact Right? And one of our clients said this so well last year. She’s like, how can I with integrity say we create impact for our community when we’re bringing them into our internal chaos and we have no rhyme or reason of how we work? Like, bringing community into our chaos is not impactful. And one of the other examples I’ll give you is, like, I was recently accepted into the coaching pool to help female founders. And it took them, like, two months just to get me into Gusto and to have this process. And I’m just like, look, you want me to help, which I am ready to help, and they’re actually gonna pay me for it. But I’m just like, if you’re not able to get your processes together. I’ve just spent two months waiting here where I could have actually helped the the the the founder you wanted me to help, but instead I’m just here doing my own thing, writing my own business.

0:45:56
But I’m like, you see, operations help you, help others, help you, help yourself, nourish yourself so that there are boundaries and, yes, that’s a plug for my business, but it’s just like this is a bigger a bigger thing that people don’t think about when it comes to good operations is that It creates better quality of life. It helps you take care of yourself and the people around you. And that’s something I think we need more than ever. Like, I’m done grinding. Like, sure, hustling is fine, but like, I’m done grinding. I’m ready to ask for help. I’m ready to be efficient and effective. Here’s productivity means shit to me. And I’m just ready to do things out of pleasure. Like, how do I run a business with pleasure? How do I surround myself with friends that bring me immense joy, delight, and pleasure, instead of like, oh, I’m obligated to hang out with them kind of thing. So Yeah. It’s all about taking care of ourselves, but it looks different probably for everybody. And I’m learning that it looks very different for me at least versus, like, even two years ago.

0:47:00
Well, business laid bare is really I mean, like, the whole name itself, business laid bare. I mean, we we talked about really successful companies, basically hiding their toys in their sock drawer. And instead, you’re inviting them to really open open up the drawer, pull all their toys out, have you look at them, play with them, and then tell you know, help help, you know, which toys are really gonna bring you the most pleasure. And that is this is why you if anybody’s watching this or you’re listening to this, you can tell why Veronica, like, working together because it’s such a fun fun brand. I’m almost spat out my water. I all the good. I then my job here is done. But, I mean, this is the thing is you’re inviting people really successful companies, probably the most successful companies out there have the worst processes.

0:47:46
I’ve seen even in like organizations that have decades of volunteers their volunteers are leaving because they’re frustrated. Like you said, they’re waiting queues or they don’t you know, like, they’re not available to get to the tools that they need in order do their jobs. So you’re not only losing paid employees, but you’re losing volunteers, you’re losing all and then your clients. You know, if they can’t figure out how to do something, I was recently talking to my cell phone friend. Like, like, how like, why do you think this is a good idea? Like, all you’re doing is making me frustrated. And and if I’m frustrated, I have an understanding of tech. There’s gonna be thousands of people who do not understand why this is the way it is. And they’re gonna be even more frustrated.

0:48:25
Like, what is it what’s the advantage? So major major companies need to learn how to ask and receive help from people like Veronica who can come in without any kind of judgment or shame and just say, okay, here’s the toys, here’s what we’re actually gonna be playing with, and here’s what actually brings pleasure to you, your team, and your clients. This is, like, the best you’re you’re just gonna you’re gonna go put this on your website now. I don’t think that’s why Make sure this is recorded transcribes and to me — Sure. — I will do that. I will keyword research and wrap out of it. It’s your new marketing it’s your new ad campaign.

0:48:58
But what I was gonna say was that for the people that know me, my brand is so sex and came positive. And we were doing this before, really, it became like normal. And, like, I wasn’t sure I could be that person until you gave me the space and you nourished me and took care of me in the sense of allowing me to express the business brand the way that it is what it is now and people have come to see it as like and it’s not what we lead with Right? Like, we just don’t go around throwing handcuffs at people. I mean, your logo is a butt. It is. And some people think it’s their breasts. Some people don’t even notice it until I bring it up or they’re just like, oh, business back end. But we don’t lead with it. It’s more like we we lead with how can we make a difference, but this is also who we are.

0:49:54
And if you cannot accept me, and have it be okay that I say the word orgasm outside the bedroom, I immediately am so polarizing that I know who is meant to be in my world and who isn’t and that itself feels like we are nourished in that way because who wants like fence sitters? I mean, one, it just looks so incredibly uncomfortable but then when you don’t know their intentions or how they feel about you, I’d rather just when I’m like, it’s a maybe for me, it’s like I go immediately no. And so that’s a way of we’ve been able to also curate our Absolutely. We’re some audience work. Is having a strong brand that that turns away people you don’t wanna work with. That is receiving support from your brand.

0:50:39
I mean, I I’ve been told, like, we’re on this Like, as we’re working with bigger and bigger companies, we’re like, oh my gosh. But do we have to tone our kink down? I’m like, no, we don’t because it’s not what we lead with. And so for us, it’s like how do we show up in a way that feels right for ourselves? Without sacrificing our integrity, but also not lets it cloud the magic that we can do because some people have their own trauma that they can that they have to deal with. And because not only when we talk about being business late there, it’s like we talk about operations. So we also talk about life and clients will ask us about kink and sex, and we have heard more than enough stories about trauma and explorations and curiosities that have not gone well and they’re just like, I was hesitant about working with you at first, but I’m just like, at the end of the day, it’s about giving you the permission to be yourself unapologetically laid bare here, whether that’s kinky or not. So you fly your own fleek freak flag, WolfFly ours. And together, we’re just creating a safe space for us to help you design the life and business. More so business at this point. That makes you ecstatic to show up every day and to make that impact because we’re about the power of and pleasure and profit. Doing good, doing well. It’s like you don’t have to choose between the two, and that to me is very nourishing. Yeah. Absolutely.

0:52:01
Letting your brand, being your brand, you know, having fun with your brand is also receiving. I mean, that’s the thing is, like, there were so many similarities once you started talking about it. I’m, like, you know, like, in King, you have a contract. You set a scene. Like, you have boundaries. You have asked for consent. You’re always checking in for consent again. All of that is so very similar to the business world that it made sense. A lot of people don’t like to know that, but now you do. Now you do.

0:52:28
And I think this is, you know, part of it is again, you have been told many times, oh, your brand’s not gonna work, oh, you shouldn’t go to VC, and you just keep doing it. And I think that to me is a part of receiving support too because when people give you advice that you didn’t ask for. Receiving Oh, I get that a lot. Yeah. Receiving to court. Like, never get married. I know. I know you’re always like, do you think this is true? I’m like, no. Carry on. Part of it is because, you know, like, part of it is because I’m I I also think it’s boring to just do it everybody. If it didn’t work for someone else, why didn’t it work for them? Like, because did they actually do the things that you could do? No. There’s so many reasons that go into that, but that’s part of receiving support and help is knowing when to not take help.

0:53:19
I think also nursing feeling nourished also ups my courage factor. So the more I am taken care of, the more courageous I can get. I think I don’t know the difference between courage and bravery is I think it feels like courage is like you know there’s there’s danger in quotes on the other side, but you do it anyways, whereas bravery, it’s like you don’t think there’s any danger. And so it’s like the fact that I know if it doesn’t work out, I’m still taken care of or I’m still supported. It’s like I have like the safety net of amazingness that I can fall back to when I’m, you know, maybe licking my wounds or licking my ego wounds, whatever that may look like.

0:53:56
So thank you, Marissa. What I’m trying to say this entire episode I mean, such as me. You’re supported by your team. You have you have other mentors and people that are you’re working with. And I think, you know, part of of creating that, you you’ve really created a fantastic group of people around you who are in your corner for you to win. And so when you feel like you’re, you know, you gotta punch or whatever, you can go back there and they’re, like, telling you off, giving you a sip of water, you know, giving the old shoulder shake, you know, being able to like have that surrounding you, you’ve done a really great job of creating that that coterie of support around you. Thank you.

0:54:35
So what did we learn today folks? Veronica has a lot of issues that she’s just easily able to air out on podcast episodes, but asking for help is not easy. Like, that’s the whole premise of your podcast. Right? And hopefully, like, I presented a different perspective on how asking for help shows up, but that it’s not the same as other people. And then I still struggle with it and that it’s an active practice that you have to just be so unwilling to give it up for because people’s lives are impacted by how well you take care of your and that’s just such an amazing, like, and also mind blowing thought.

0:55:12
Like, twenty year old Veronica be like, what the heck is this? And I think that shows growth. So thank you for being in my life. Thank you to the catalyst, all my friends and family. It’s like this has been a journey. Like entrepreneurship is already hard enough as it is. But when you do entrepreneurship unapologetically according to your own rules, that’s a whole another level, and the support needed is more. Yeah, I think if you’re willing to take that I mean, that’s why we call this Nourish the Risktakers. Right? It’s the people who are willing to take that leap, not knowing that they necessarily have that support system. But, you know, how do we help them? How do we take how people take bigger leaps? And that’s what I hope to keep doing with you. Veronica, I think I’m so out of every time you’re like, guess what? Guess what? I’m like, I will I will jazz hand you until the end of time. Because you’re doing incredible things in the world.

0:56:08
I like to before we always go, I always like to recognize something about people Veronica, first of all, you’re brilliant. Your brain is built in a way that is exciting to me because you come up with solutions and opportunities and you take on challenges and obstacles with, like, well, let’s just get her in there and it it is it is refreshing. It is fantastic. I love the way that you show up in the catalyst for not only yourself, which is very important. I just wanna say showing up for your self is is the best thing. Being, you know, some people say, well, that’s being selfish. Now showing up for yourself is a phenomenal skill. And you show up for yourself in the in the room, but you show up for others too and you’re always checking in and you’re seeing how, you know, you you can work with others and how you can help them. Have a better time. And I think that is just it’s again, it’s a skill that you don’t always see very often.

0:57:01
But also, you’re hilarious. You are so funny. The things that you come up with you’re like and you’re you have such a dead pattern. You’re like, I’m gonna just, like, lay out this incredible comedy sequence and you you just deliver and we’re always all in stitches. And it is a phenomenal opportunity for us just to relax to you know, because business isn’t always so serious. Right? We have this opportunity to really laugh at our ourselves and laugh at at others and the things that we do in our lives and you do that for us. You give us that the comedy break. You give us permission to live The comedic relief and the process is happening. Yeah. And the blue two things I bring. I know, like, body. Yes. You bring your Miro boards and everyone’s like, oh, what? And then you’re like, this is possible. You know, yes, absolutely. You show people how organization and productivity can work with neurodivergent brains, you know, and how we can create tools that allow us to have accessibility in equity, and I think that more of that, please.

0:57:57
So if you’re watching this or you’re listening to this right now, please do check out businesslaidbear dot dot com. That’s business laid, l a I d b a r e, dot com. It is essential for you to go see what Veronica’s doing in the world. She has an incredible podcast that isn’t ongoing. It’s just a section that’s called just no. The WIP. Right? The WIP. Yeah. It was the business WIP.

0:58:21
Guess who came up with that title. I mean, it was me. But — Yeah. — and I was eating a burger while I I was like, I was stuffing my face. I was driving in Veronica. Like, what should this podcast be called? I’m like, with your business into shape. But everybody who listens to it, everybody who listens to it says wow. There is so much of bringing money in there. Yeah. Like, there the way that you break things down again, you’re all about accessibility, you’re all about that. Being able to come into that. You bring people along with you. So if you want to go start putting operations in your business, you don’t know where to start. I do recommend starting with that podcast S.

0:58:57
Veronica also has some really great you know, we’ve we’ve showcased some tools here, but do check out create the rules dot com. We create the rules dot com slash veronica yawns. Well, you have your own page. You have your own page. And we we link there too. Oh, it would be incredible. We should we should have spent the incredible Veronica, but, you know, all of those will be linked there too. And and Veronica, thank you so much for being a part of the catalyst. Thank you so much for being a part of this podcast. There were so many gems I was trying to write down times and all that kind of fun stuff. Because there are so many beautiful buildings that you share with us, and thank you for for your vulnerability, and thank you for bringing it in. I know it’s gonna be really helpful for a lot of full. Thank you. Oh, how else do we end this other then until next time? Until the next episode. Until I and I end the broadcast. Thanks, everybody. Bye.