Are You Choosing for Yourself or Someone Else?
This is an excerpt from the little podcast of big questions. I’m your host Marissa Loewen.
I know this question can be shocking and it sometimes comes up in the middle of a coaching session when it sounds like the person is not really attached to the idea.
And in business, I hear it a lot with business owners when they are trying to make a tactic or tool work in their business because they saw it working for someone else or because they have a business partner or someone else in their ear telling them that they HAVE to do this. When I ask this question are you choosing for yourself or someone else it can be really clear that that tour tactic is not actually for them and it doesn’t actually apply to their business. And then we can take that out or we can examine it and redefine it. But this question also comes from a deeper place – are you choosing for yourself or someone else?
When I ask a lot of business owners, why they’re building a business or why they do the things they do – they often will talk about how important their family is to them. And how when they are successful in their business, they are allowed to spend more on their family, get classes for their kids, maybe get a home upgrade… or just the comfort of knowing that your Bills are always paid. So they’re not only choosing for their business but they’re choosing for their family and it doesn’t make it a bad thing. You don’t always want to choose for ourselves because we do have impact on other people. We do have the tiny ripples that turn into big waves. They start small where we are but it does ripple out and it does impact those around us. It impacts our clients, impacts our customers, our family, our friends.
Any decision that we make for ourselves has an impact on other people. So when we look at the question are you choosing for yourself or someone else it can help us realize that maybe sometimes we’re doing things because other people have asked us to do things or have asked us to show up in certain way and sometimes we use this question because we realize that we are doing it for other people And it’s not a bad thing it’s just the reason behind why we do it. It also allows us to separate our WHY from someone else’s why. Knowing that you’re providing for your family or creating an opportunity or donating to an organization as part of your sales – knowing that helps you create the tools and tactics to do it well, to achieve success.
When we look at the question are you choosing for yourself or someone else and we realize that it’s not having a positive impact on us – that it’s actually taking away from something else because we’re focusing on pleasing someone else, or making them happy or make them approve what we do. It will be a big eye-opener on how you been draining your energy and where you can focus on something else that actually brings you joy, that brings us happiness and it’s not to see them you just tell that person “I’m sorry I’m not choosing for you anymore” it’s allowing them to see how your decision, how you created your reality, how you created your choices actually gives you more happiness and more joy and allowing them to make the decision to support you in that. So the question are you choosing for yourself or someone else can be A powerful question depending on how you need it to work for you and your life in your business and in your relationships.
I’d love to hear how you’re using this question I would love feedback on whether you needed it one way or the other or maybe both how did you use this question to have better relationships more success in your career of business and to feel at ease with yourself and your decisions