This is an excerpt from the Little Podcast of Big Questions. I’m your host Marissa Loewen.
When we think about the question – How are you loved? – We might immediately go towards our romantic relationships and think about how we know that we are loved and that’s perfectly valid. But when I get this question, I think about all of the ways that my friends, my family, my colleagues, my clients – How do they show me love? How do they show that they appreciate me and respect me and want the very best for me.
This question can be also used with the Love Languages which is a really popular definition of how people show love and how people want to be shown that they are loved and this can create conflict when you have two people who prefer to show their loved one way and receive their love another way.
For example, I might use words as how I like to be known that I’m loved. I love when people use their words to describe how or why they love me, but my romantic partner might prefer to use actions or acts of service and so by getting this question, how am I loved – I can look at how I want to be loved and how I prefer to be shown that I am loved but I also can stop and look around at the other people in my life and see how they show me that they love me and if I’m not sure it could be an invitation for me to explore that with them – to ask them.
How do they show love? How is it showing up? The idea is that we get stronger and more comfortable with proof that we are being loved and that we can recognize it. Especially when we feel like we have not shown up for the world how we want to. We can look around and know that we have safety and support from those around us.
And we can ask them to show it if we need more of it when we know how they show love. So this question, how are you loved is an amazing way for us to feel safe, supported, nourished and nurtured and it’s a way that we can celebrate who we are and of the people around us and how they love us.
How Are You Loved?
This is a celebration card because it gives us the opportunity to reflect and enjoy how others show us their love for us. Sometimes we miss the signs completely because it doesn’t match how we love others but it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. If you get this question and you’re not sure, ask the people around you how they show you their love. You might be amazed to hear what they respond with! It’s a check in point to make sure you are safe, supported and nurtured.
Want to discuss how you use this question in your life or career? Apply to be a guest on The Little Podcast of Big Questions. We’ll talk about this question and then I will pull a random question for you from the card deck – The Little Box of Big Questions.
As I interview people, their podcasts will appear below – come back to hear how people are using this BIG QUESTION and see what happens when they do!